Callbacks

Callbacks. You’ve been called back. Someone has passed along your work to someone else, and perhaps that someone has passed it along to another someone, and then someone wants to join the other someones in a tiny room and see your work in person.

The audition I always treat like a first rehearsal. I’ve made choices, but I’ll take any adjustments. Take your hair down. Talk slower. Take time before you respond, react a little more.

The callback? I’m still not quite sure what the hell to do with it. I take all the feedback from the audition and I root myself to the decisions I made for the audition. I solidify my character. I expand on the history I’ve given the person. I wear the same clothes. I do the same hair. I decide that any insecurities I had in the audition regarding my character need to be dropped. They were choices that someone out there was, at the very least, interested in.

The moment I walk into a callback room I gather what the CD might be interested in. Short girls. Tall girls. Dry humor. Deeper voices. How does this help me? It doesn’t. I’ve been called back, I get a second rehearsal.

Nothing I can do to make myself feel better. Wait. Yes. I stare out a window. I sit however my character sits. I always accept whatever snack or beverage is offered in the waiting area. But what if I don’t even like butterscotch candy? Well, my character does, today, right now. What if I have to pee but I don’t have time? My character also has to pee.

What about all the beautiful girls sitting around in the waiting room? I can’t make them any less pretty, or talented.

At the callback, I remind myself that this industry isn’t even competitive. I’m not any better or worse than any of the actors around me. We’re all different humans with specific choices, and the actor who winds up on set is the actor who best fits into the vision of the creators.

The fucking callback is in your control, but who is cast never will be.

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