It’s been years since I’ve created anything. A song, a short film, even a recording of a daily observation. It’s something I used to do daily. You can find tons of created content by me in the early archives of my tumblr. Something happened in the last few years that slowed production to a halt, and I’m realizing it was a lack of confidence in myself. I was transitioning from a teenager into an adult, figuring out exactly who I was, and it turns out I am who I was before I started questioning who I was to begin with!
That being said, I have some goals. Keeping up with this site is one of them. I’ve been working on a script, and I started feeling insecure about the story I was constructing and that halted. After several conversations with myself in the shower, however, I’ve worked out the faults I was seeing and I’m going to continue writing.
I have a goal to record a short poem by a writer/director friend, Scott Fivelson. I’m going to start out with a simple vocal recording of it, and I have a loftier goal of learning a basic camera/lighting setup so I can film it. Another goal is to begin self-submitting auditions. Another goal is to finish the song I’ve been working on for the last few weeks and record it.
I’m rough around the edges, I love grainy photographs, I love keen observations, I love old books and worn furniture and gardening and the feeling of creating things, and I am working towards getting back to that. Below, I’m sharing one of my favorite film scenes. It’s from Miranda July’s “The Future,” a movie I haven’t been able to keep out of my mind for more than a couple weeks at a time. She described it as the movie of her thirties, and every day I wonder if I am drifting towards her creation.
Anyway, here goes: